Tuesday, January 10, 2012

On the path of modernization

Welcome to the modern world, where we have advanced and developed with time. Some people think that we have passed the optimum point on the time line and moved in the negative but who cares? Its more cool here. We eat using tons of cutlery; in fact the word cutlery has become synonyms with intermediary between humans and food. Days of eating the way our holy prophet used to eat are long gone. Now, the people who eat food (read rice) using their hand are paindu/ maulvi or backward; in either case they are not modern and thus not liked.

Asking Rs. 5 to buy tobacco is cool but asking back your change of Rs. 5 will make you a laughing stock. It’s just another perk of advancement. Hash, alcohol, weed are okay but what’s not okay is fighting for small amounts of change. Let me clarify here, please don’t compare small amount here with interest; interest is good!

Next, we introduce the concept of dowry*. *Some modern men at back throw confetti while opening a bottle of champagne*. You see, we are modern people, we don’t ask for dowry, you should be smart enough to give us that, so your daughter (who is coming with the dowry) can flaunt in front of our relatives. It’s not only for show-off but she and our son will be able to ride in a car, eat fresh food, and wash clothes easily among so many other things. You see its for her own comfort. On the contrary, Haq mehr is a useless right, only exercisable if a divorce takes place. Modern people don’t talk about it and it’ll lower our status if we waste our energies on figuring out the right amount according to the current time.

Yet another socially acceptable, if not celebrated, concept is to keep our surroundings clean. We will through the wrapper out of our car as soon as we are done eating. We will through trash in front of our neighbor’s house so that the outlook of our house stays clean. When it comes to chewing gums we believe the tastier they are to chew the harder they are to dispose. Spitting it out is the best strategy to get rid of it, if you accidently take it out of mouth than stick it to the nearest spot regardless of the importance of location.
Modern people believe in being on the family functions on time and in the attempt to get there we drive very fast, break traffic laws where possible and keep one hand on the car horn at all times. Cursing is used, where needed. After all, the sooner we get there, the sooner the function will be over and among many other benefits the energy conservation will be done.

And one of the biggest gifts of modernization is back biting, more popularly known as gossiping. Sometimes we don’t even grant our parents- after all everyone should be treated with justice. They are going to the old homes, anyway. Talking of parents; they should manage their financials smartly. What parent’s now-a-days do is that they spent all their money and when we hardly start making a few pennies, they want us to spend it on their medicines rather than on our food.

Ahh! Well, that’s all for now! Will talk more about our modernization some other time again.
* Please don’t give the logic that our Prophet also gave dowry to his daughter(s). Why not? Is there any comparison. I mean seriously?
* The author is also moderns, so please don’t justify yourself by comparison with the author.